January 15, 2024 I received the call that the father of my children died tragically in a car accident. The day started out good, a much needed day off a holiday, it was Martin Luther King’s Day. I spent the day out as a self care day, lunch and touring the city. As the day was coming to an end just before bed the phone rang and the message from the other end was one that I never imagined. I literally thought that man would be around to get n my nerves forever. Don’t worry, I’m sure he is up in heaven laughing that I said that.

Panicked and overwhelmed I rushed to call and inform the kids. It was a hard message to deliver over the phone. I just wanted to wrap my arms around them. It’s been nearly two months now and we’re all still dealing with it in our own way. One thing he used to say, we don’t have much time left. That our days were numbered and we needed to prepare for the end. He was a believer and felt that the signs are here and that God would be coming back soon.

When death hits close to home you start to look at life differently. Time is one of those things we can’t get back and never feel we get enough of. It makes you question what do you do with the time you have left. Living life has a new meaning now, moments are not just moments, it’s opportunities to create memories. Good memories is what I want to leave my family and friends and anyone who encounters me. I want to be well spoken of.

Life lately, reminds me of the movie Last Holiday that Queen Latifah starred in. In the movie she was misdiagnosed and thought to believe she was dying so she quit her job and went to live her best life. With my current diagnosis of macular degeneration I feel like I’m racing time to do more and to see more before lights are out physically or in death. I’m trying to break this life long shell that I have built around me. It has me trapped, too shy to meet and interact with new people which I know holds me back from a lot of things.

I will conquer it though, little by little, if God grants me the time.